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| Did you know that Hitler and Napoleon were both missing one testicle ? |
| Did you know that there are fewer people in Los Angeles than there are automobiles? |
| Part 1: How to Shower Like a Woman: * Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. * Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. * If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. * Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. * Get in the shower. * Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. * Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. * Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. * Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. * Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. * Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. * Rinse conditioner off hair. * Turn off shower. * Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. * Spray mould spots with Tilex. * Get out of shower. * Dry with towel the size of a small country. * Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. * Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. * If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Part 2: How to Shower Like a Man: * Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. * Walk naked to the bathroom. * If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound. * Look at your manly physique in the mirror. * Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. * Get in the shower. * Wash your face. * Wash your armpits. * Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off. * Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. * Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. * Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. * Wash your hair. * Make a shampoo Mohawk. * Pee. * Rinse off and get out of shower. * Partially dry off. * Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. * Admire wiener size in mirror again. * Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. * Return to bedroom with towel around waist. * If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. * Throw wet towel on her pillow. If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. Have a great day! Oh, and... woo-woo!!! |
| How to Shower (Male Versus Female) |
| This is absolutely hilarious. I laugh every time I read these comparisons, and never get bored of reading it either. |
