Get Your Sense of
"Ha Ha" on!
Did you know
that Coca-cola
was originally
green?
®
Did you know that the
average person is about
a quarter of an inch
taller at night?
Did you know
that Tigers skin
is striped, not
just their fur?
Did you know
that 90% of bird
species are
monogamous?
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Did you know that
Hitler and Napoleon
were both missing
one testicle ?
Did you know
that there are
fewer people in
Los Angeles
than there are
automobiles?
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell, so I always have a few
sessions with my students. It actually helps them get over shyness.
Normally, show-and-tell is pretty calm and painless. Kids have brought
pet turtles, airplane models, pictures of fish they've caught, etc. I never
set any boundaries or limitations on what the kids bring. If they want to
haul anything into the school and discuss, I say bring it on.

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Then, all of a sudden, out came my baby brother. He was covered in
yucky stuff that they said was from Mommy's play-center, (placenta) so
there must be a lot of toys inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's
show-and-tell day, I make sure to bring my camcorder, just in case
another 'Middle Wife' comes along.
Middle Wife - by an anonymous 2nd grade teacher. This is very funny.

I've been teaching for about fifteen years and have two precious kids
myself, but the
best birth story I know is the one I encountered in my second grade
classroom a few years ago.
Well, one day a very outgoing and
bright little girl, Erica, goes to take
her turn and waddles up to the
front of the classroom with a pillow
shoved under her shirt. She holds
up a picture of an infant and says,
"This is Luke, my baby brother, and
I'm going to talk about his
birthday. First, Mommy and Daddy
made him as a symbol of their love,
and then Daddy put a seed in my
Mommy's tummy, and Luke grew
inside there. He ate for nine
months through an umbrella cord."
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, I'm trying not to
laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids watched her in
amazement.

Erica continues with her story, "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my
Mommy starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' She puts one hand
behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like 1
hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" (Now this girl's doing a hilarious duck waddle and
groaning.) "My Dad called the middle wife who delivers babies, but she
doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man.
They got my Mommy to lie down in
bed like this. (Then Erica lies down
with her back against the wall) And
then, POP! My Mommy had this bag of
water she kept in there in case he
got thirsty, and it just blew up and
splashed all over the bed, like
psschhheew! (This kid has her legs
spread with her little hands imitating
water flowing away. It was too
much!) Then the middle wife started
saying, 'push, push, push' and
'breathe, breathe, breathe. They
started counting, but never even got
past ten.